Joke of the Day

joecool wrote:

RRCmdrBennett wrote:On the way into the truck stop my team driver and I crossed over the scales.  Attendant over Scales speaker said, “one truck at a time please!”  

Gotta watch all those snacks sitting in the cab for 8 hours a day. When I was younger (and my teeth could stand it) I used to chew ice cubes while driving. Kept me awake and zero calories.

I use mostly water and trail mix. I stock groceries in mini fridge and we have a microwave too. We can drive up to 11/14 hrs before a 10 hr reset.

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we are getting low.

The reason for that is purely geographical. Our oil is located in: Alaska, Alabama, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, New Mexico, New York, Nevada, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia, Wyoming, the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, and the Gulf of Mexico.

But our dipsticks are located in Washington, D.C.

"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." T.S. Elliot

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam." George Carlin

"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there." George Burns

(Seen on a sign in a local cafe)

"Due to tax increases, the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, plus the current state of the economy, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off."

(Hmm, why am I not laughing?)