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Joke of the Day

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by RRCmdrBennett on November 10th 2017, 1:59 pm

joecool wrote:How do you starve a Democrat?


Hide his EBT card under his work boots.

Only flaw there is why would a Democrat have work boots?

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by RRCmdrBennett on November 10th 2017, 2:29 pm

Mark Jones wrote:Click.  Just flipped the safety off my pellet gun.  

Nice one.

Mark Jones

You know Mark means bizness when you hear his pellet gun safety click!  lol!


Last edited by RRCmdrBennett on November 15th 2017, 8:13 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Dan Bennett
Sr Commander (2007-2016)
N Central Area Communications Coord, CI (2016)
RR Outpost #215, Ohio District :flag:
RR GMA #83 Potomac Dist-#2366 Nat'l

"Be Ready, It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark."

fire FCF Frontiersman 9/91 fire
Free Trapper 2016
Training Seminars/Camps:
LTC LMA 5/94, Ranger Basics 1/05, LTA LMA 5/05, NTC IL 5/09, WCO 10/09, ICS 4/10, RKTC 7/10, Ranger Essentials 8/10, NRMC 10/11,
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Mark Jones on November 15th 2017, 2:10 pm

I am blonde.  It may take a few more stairs before I get this ...HA!

Adding a few more pumps to the pellet gun.  

Have any of you guys just put in a wadd of paper towel in place of a lead ball to see what sound the BP rifle sounds like?  When its shot? Sound the same?

Mark Jones  
p.s. This is not a blonde joke. I just had some extra energy to ask a dumb question found it fitting.  (and am guilty lol!  of hijacking this thread)
Fencing Fencing Fencing Fencing Fencing


Last edited by Mark Jones on November 18th 2017, 7:55 am; edited 2 times in total
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by ccm2361 on November 15th 2017, 9:25 pm

um

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Phillip Gross on November 15th 2017, 10:26 pm

Can't say I've ever tried it. Is it supposed to sound different?
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Mark Jones on November 15th 2017, 11:34 pm

unknown.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Phillip Gross on November 16th 2017, 7:09 am

So who's got one that can try it and report back?
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Mark Jones on November 16th 2017, 7:19 am

Me! One of these days will let her rip.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Claymore on November 16th 2017, 10:21 pm

Sure!

Before hunting, I would fire two "fouling" shots through my black powder rifle. This was to dry any oil that was left in the bore or powder chamber of the rifle.

First shot would be a half load of powder. It would have a rather hollow "thud".

Second shot was a full charge of powder using a plastic .50 cal wad (since I didn't want a lead ball to come down on anyone's head at 5:15 AM). It sounded similar to a shot, but not as sharp. The weight of the lead ball adds pressure, and gives the shot a higher-pitched bang.

If you have ever gone to a Civil War reenactment, you should have noticed that the shots by the participants sounded pretty anemic.

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Phillip Gross on November 17th 2017, 6:59 am

I have noticed that. The canons still sounded pretty loud when they got rolling. Now I'm imagining what they'd actually sound like pushing a real load vs just the packing... Shocked
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by RRCmdrBennett on November 17th 2017, 11:59 am

All these jokes about shooting blanks are soooo hilarious...

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Mark Jones on November 17th 2017, 12:27 pm

Boom boom just shot blanks. YET IF YOU WERE WITH IN 300 FEET OF IT YOU WOULD FEEL THE PERCUSSION. I remember at 3 Camporama's back they put in a load that woke us all up. I swear I felt the ground move. GRIN! I was camped close about 1500 feet away from where they shoot the canon. Hold your ears..it's FIRE IN THE HOLE!
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Claymore on November 17th 2017, 9:49 pm

RRCmdrBennett wrote:All these jokes about shooting blanks are soooo hilarious...

(Nix it, guys.

The Joke Hallway Monitor is here..............)



"Yes, Missus Bennetttttttt............"

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by joecool on November 17th 2017, 9:57 pm

I remember District staff building a big plastic cannon and firing it during a council fire. Pieces of the exploded cannon went flying everywhere. A miracle no one was hurt.

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by RRCmdrBennett on November 18th 2017, 12:23 am

Claymore wrote:
RRCmdrBennett wrote:All these jokes about shooting blanks are soooo hilarious...

(Nix it, guys.

The Joke Hallway Monitor is here..............)



"Yes, Missus Bennetttttttt............"

I was thinking it was a hijack thread. I remembered no one here ever does that lol!

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Dan Bennett
Sr Commander (2007-2016)
N Central Area Communications Coord, CI (2016)
RR Outpost #215, Ohio District :flag:
RR GMA #83 Potomac Dist-#2366 Nat'l

"Be Ready, It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark."

fire FCF Frontiersman 9/91 fire
Free Trapper 2016
Training Seminars/Camps:
LTC LMA 5/94, Ranger Basics 1/05, LTA LMA 5/05, NTC IL 5/09, WCO 10/09, ICS 4/10, RKTC 7/10, Ranger Essentials 8/10, NRMC 10/11,
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LMA-Advanced 10/11, MoE 2012-092

RR v1.99

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Mark Jones on November 18th 2017, 7:53 am

I found the guy who hijacked this thread.  He said he was sorry and I flagged his post with a waving emoticon         !

Hey this fits me.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by RRCmdrBennett on November 22nd 2017, 5:26 pm

Borrowed from another post but this is the kind of story Chris Wakeman would enjoy.

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, "It’s just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.’"

The telegraph operator shakes his head.

"How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?"

The brunette explains, "My sister’s blonde. She’ll read it very slowly.

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Dan Bennett
Sr Commander (2007-2016)
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RR Outpost #215, Ohio District :flag:
RR GMA #83 Potomac Dist-#2366 Nat'l

"Be Ready, It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark."

fire FCF Frontiersman 9/91 fire
Free Trapper 2016
Training Seminars/Camps:
LTC LMA 5/94, Ranger Basics 1/05, LTA LMA 5/05, NTC IL 5/09, WCO 10/09, ICS 4/10, RKTC 7/10, Ranger Essentials 8/10, NRMC 10/11,
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Phillip Gross on November 22nd 2017, 6:33 pm

Laughing That's funny.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Mark Jones on November 22nd 2017, 9:18 pm

Yes. It made me laugh. Good one.

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by joecool on November 22nd 2017, 9:28 pm

Sending it on to my daughter-in-law's Dad. He's all hat and cattle.

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by joecool on January 5th 2018, 4:13 pm

(Borrowed online) It's so cold back East that liberals are putting their hands in their own pockets.

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Re: Joke of the Day

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