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Joke of the Day
+3
joecool
Phillip Gross
Claymore
7 posters
Page 3 of 4
Page 3 of 4 • 1, 2, 3, 4
Re: Joke of the Day
joecool wrote:How do you starve a Democrat?
Hide his EBT card under his work boots.
Only flaw there is why would a Democrat have work boots?
_________________
Dan Bennett
Sr Commander (2007-2016)
N Central Area Communications Coord, CI (2016)
Outpost #215, Ohio District :flag:
GMA #83 Potomac Dist-#2366 Nat'l
"Be Ready, It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark."
FCF Frontiersman 9/91
Free Trapper 2016
Training Seminars/Camps:
LTC LMA 5/94, Ranger Basics 1/05, LTA LMA 5/05, NTC IL 5/09, WCO 10/09, ICS 4/10, RKTC 7/10, Ranger Essentials 8/10, NRMC 10/11,
Outpost Leader Advancement Levels:
LMA-Advanced 10/11, MoE 2012-092
RR v1.0
Lima
Golf
Bravo
RRCmdrBennett- Moderator
- Posts : 3603
Join date : 2013-05-15
Age : 47
Location : Ohio
Re: Joke of the Day
Mark Jones wrote:Click. Just flipped the safety off my pellet gun.
Nice one.
Mark Jones
You know Mark means bizness when you hear his pellet gun safety click!
Last edited by RRCmdrBennett on November 15th 2017, 8:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
_________________
Dan Bennett
Sr Commander (2007-2016)
N Central Area Communications Coord, CI (2016)
Outpost #215, Ohio District :flag:
GMA #83 Potomac Dist-#2366 Nat'l
"Be Ready, It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark."
FCF Frontiersman 9/91
Free Trapper 2016
Training Seminars/Camps:
LTC LMA 5/94, Ranger Basics 1/05, LTA LMA 5/05, NTC IL 5/09, WCO 10/09, ICS 4/10, RKTC 7/10, Ranger Essentials 8/10, NRMC 10/11,
Outpost Leader Advancement Levels:
LMA-Advanced 10/11, MoE 2012-092
RR v1.0
Lima
Golf
Bravo
RRCmdrBennett- Moderator
- Posts : 3603
Join date : 2013-05-15
Age : 47
Location : Ohio
Re: Joke of the Day
I am blonde. It may take a few more stairs before I get this ...HA!
Adding a few more pumps to the pellet gun.
Have any of you guys just put in a wadd of paper towel in place of a lead ball to see what sound the BP rifle sounds like? When its shot? Sound the same?
Mark Jones
p.s. This is not a blonde joke. I just had some extra energy to ask a dumb question found it fitting. (and am guilty of hijacking this thread)
Adding a few more pumps to the pellet gun.
Have any of you guys just put in a wadd of paper towel in place of a lead ball to see what sound the BP rifle sounds like? When its shot? Sound the same?
Mark Jones
p.s. This is not a blonde joke. I just had some extra energy to ask a dumb question found it fitting. (and am guilty of hijacking this thread)
Last edited by Mark Jones on November 18th 2017, 7:55 am; edited 2 times in total
Re: Joke of the Day
Can't say I've ever tried it. Is it supposed to sound different?
Phillip Gross- Special Member
- Posts : 2557
Join date : 2013-05-14
Re: Joke of the Day
So who's got one that can try it and report back?
Phillip Gross- Special Member
- Posts : 2557
Join date : 2013-05-14
Re: Joke of the Day
Sure!
Before hunting, I would fire two "fouling" shots through my black powder rifle. This was to dry any oil that was left in the bore or powder chamber of the rifle.
First shot would be a half load of powder. It would have a rather hollow "thud".
Second shot was a full charge of powder using a plastic .50 cal wad (since I didn't want a lead ball to come down on anyone's head at 5:15 AM). It sounded similar to a shot, but not as sharp. The weight of the lead ball adds pressure, and gives the shot a higher-pitched bang.
If you have ever gone to a Civil War reenactment, you should have noticed that the shots by the participants sounded pretty anemic.
Before hunting, I would fire two "fouling" shots through my black powder rifle. This was to dry any oil that was left in the bore or powder chamber of the rifle.
First shot would be a half load of powder. It would have a rather hollow "thud".
Second shot was a full charge of powder using a plastic .50 cal wad (since I didn't want a lead ball to come down on anyone's head at 5:15 AM). It sounded similar to a shot, but not as sharp. The weight of the lead ball adds pressure, and gives the shot a higher-pitched bang.
If you have ever gone to a Civil War reenactment, you should have noticed that the shots by the participants sounded pretty anemic.
_________________
"Rangers Lead the Way"
18Z, 11B4X
"The last thing that I want to do is to hurt you,...................... but it's still on the list."
Claymore- Special Member
- Posts : 2760
Join date : 2013-05-17
Location : Northern Mississippi
Re: Joke of the Day
I have noticed that. The canons still sounded pretty loud when they got rolling. Now I'm imagining what they'd actually sound like pushing a real load vs just the packing...
Phillip Gross- Special Member
- Posts : 2557
Join date : 2013-05-14
Re: Joke of the Day
All these jokes about shooting blanks are soooo hilarious...
_________________
Dan Bennett
Sr Commander (2007-2016)
N Central Area Communications Coord, CI (2016)
Outpost #215, Ohio District :flag:
GMA #83 Potomac Dist-#2366 Nat'l
"Be Ready, It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark."
FCF Frontiersman 9/91
Free Trapper 2016
Training Seminars/Camps:
LTC LMA 5/94, Ranger Basics 1/05, LTA LMA 5/05, NTC IL 5/09, WCO 10/09, ICS 4/10, RKTC 7/10, Ranger Essentials 8/10, NRMC 10/11,
Outpost Leader Advancement Levels:
LMA-Advanced 10/11, MoE 2012-092
RR v1.0
Lima
Golf
Bravo
RRCmdrBennett- Moderator
- Posts : 3603
Join date : 2013-05-15
Age : 47
Location : Ohio
Re: Joke of the Day
Boom boom just shot blanks. YET IF YOU WERE WITH IN 300 FEET OF IT YOU WOULD FEEL THE PERCUSSION. I remember at 3 Camporama's back they put in a load that woke us all up. I swear I felt the ground move. GRIN! I was camped close about 1500 feet away from where they shoot the canon. Hold your ears..it's FIRE IN THE HOLE!
Re: Joke of the Day
RRCmdrBennett wrote:All these jokes about shooting blanks are soooo hilarious...
(Nix it, guys.
The Joke Hallway Monitor is here..............)
"Yes, Missus Bennetttttttt............"
_________________
"Rangers Lead the Way"
18Z, 11B4X
"The last thing that I want to do is to hurt you,...................... but it's still on the list."
Claymore- Special Member
- Posts : 2760
Join date : 2013-05-17
Location : Northern Mississippi
Re: Joke of the Day
I remember District staff building a big plastic cannon and firing it during a council fire. Pieces of the exploded cannon went flying everywhere. A miracle no one was hurt.
joecool- VIP Member
- Posts : 3307
Join date : 2013-10-28
Age : 69
Re: Joke of the Day
Claymore wrote:RRCmdrBennett wrote:All these jokes about shooting blanks are soooo hilarious...
(Nix it, guys.
The Joke Hallway Monitor is here..............)
"Yes, Missus Bennetttttttt............"
I was thinking it was a hijack thread. I remembered no one here ever does that
_________________
Dan Bennett
Sr Commander (2007-2016)
N Central Area Communications Coord, CI (2016)
Outpost #215, Ohio District :flag:
GMA #83 Potomac Dist-#2366 Nat'l
"Be Ready, It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark."
FCF Frontiersman 9/91
Free Trapper 2016
Training Seminars/Camps:
LTC LMA 5/94, Ranger Basics 1/05, LTA LMA 5/05, NTC IL 5/09, WCO 10/09, ICS 4/10, RKTC 7/10, Ranger Essentials 8/10, NRMC 10/11,
Outpost Leader Advancement Levels:
LMA-Advanced 10/11, MoE 2012-092
RR v1.0
Lima
Golf
Bravo
RRCmdrBennett- Moderator
- Posts : 3603
Join date : 2013-05-15
Age : 47
Location : Ohio
Re: Joke of the Day
I found the guy who hijacked this thread. He said he was sorry and I flagged his post with a waving emoticon !
Hey this fits me.
Hey this fits me.
Re: Joke of the Day
Borrowed from another post but this is the kind of story Chris Wakeman would enjoy.
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, "It’s just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.’"
The telegraph operator shakes his head.
"How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?"
The brunette explains, "My sister’s blonde. She’ll read it very slowly.
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, "It’s just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.’"
The telegraph operator shakes his head.
"How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?"
The brunette explains, "My sister’s blonde. She’ll read it very slowly.
_________________
Dan Bennett
Sr Commander (2007-2016)
N Central Area Communications Coord, CI (2016)
Outpost #215, Ohio District :flag:
GMA #83 Potomac Dist-#2366 Nat'l
"Be Ready, It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark."
FCF Frontiersman 9/91
Free Trapper 2016
Training Seminars/Camps:
LTC LMA 5/94, Ranger Basics 1/05, LTA LMA 5/05, NTC IL 5/09, WCO 10/09, ICS 4/10, RKTC 7/10, Ranger Essentials 8/10, NRMC 10/11,
Outpost Leader Advancement Levels:
LMA-Advanced 10/11, MoE 2012-092
RR v1.0
Lima
Golf
Bravo
RRCmdrBennett- Moderator
- Posts : 3603
Join date : 2013-05-15
Age : 47
Location : Ohio
Re: Joke of the Day
Sending it on to my daughter-in-law's Dad. He's all hat and cattle.
joecool- VIP Member
- Posts : 3307
Join date : 2013-10-28
Age : 69
Re: Joke of the Day
(Borrowed online) It's so cold back East that liberals are putting their hands in their own pockets.
joecool- VIP Member
- Posts : 3307
Join date : 2013-10-28
Age : 69
Re: Joke of the Day
(Seen on a website today)
The difference between a businessman and a career politician.
President Trump and Nancy Pelosi are butting heads and nothing is getting done in DC. They agree to have a 3-day ice-fishing contest, with the winner getting to chart the way forward. A lake in northern Michigan is chosen, with a neutral Ranger station to count the fish each day at 5 pm.
At the end of the first day, it's Trump-10 and Pelosi-zero. Things get worse the next day as Trump beats her 20-0. On the third day, Pelosi decides to not fish and keep a close eye on Trump, to see how he's cheating.
Well, the President catches 40 fish on the third and final day. Pelosi calls a news conference and declares, "The President is cheating! He's cutting a hole in the ice!"
The difference between a businessman and a career politician.
President Trump and Nancy Pelosi are butting heads and nothing is getting done in DC. They agree to have a 3-day ice-fishing contest, with the winner getting to chart the way forward. A lake in northern Michigan is chosen, with a neutral Ranger station to count the fish each day at 5 pm.
At the end of the first day, it's Trump-10 and Pelosi-zero. Things get worse the next day as Trump beats her 20-0. On the third day, Pelosi decides to not fish and keep a close eye on Trump, to see how he's cheating.
Well, the President catches 40 fish on the third and final day. Pelosi calls a news conference and declares, "The President is cheating! He's cutting a hole in the ice!"
joecool- VIP Member
- Posts : 3307
Join date : 2013-10-28
Age : 69
Re: Joke of the Day
On the way into the truck stop my team driver and I crossed over the scales. Attendant over Scales speaker said, “one truck at a time please!”
_________________
Dan Bennett
Sr Commander (2007-2016)
N Central Area Communications Coord, CI (2016)
Outpost #215, Ohio District :flag:
GMA #83 Potomac Dist-#2366 Nat'l
"Be Ready, It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark."
FCF Frontiersman 9/91
Free Trapper 2016
Training Seminars/Camps:
LTC LMA 5/94, Ranger Basics 1/05, LTA LMA 5/05, NTC IL 5/09, WCO 10/09, ICS 4/10, RKTC 7/10, Ranger Essentials 8/10, NRMC 10/11,
Outpost Leader Advancement Levels:
LMA-Advanced 10/11, MoE 2012-092
RR v1.0
Lima
Golf
Bravo
RRCmdrBennett- Moderator
- Posts : 3603
Join date : 2013-05-15
Age : 47
Location : Ohio
Re: Joke of the Day
RRCmdrBennett wrote:On the way into the truck stop my team driver and I crossed over the scales. Attendant over Scales speaker said, “one truck at a time please!”
Gotta watch all those snacks sitting in the cab for 8 hours a day. When I was younger (and my teeth could stand it) I used to chew ice cubes while driving. Kept me awake and zero calories.
joecool- VIP Member
- Posts : 3307
Join date : 2013-10-28
Age : 69
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